The Need-Blind Myth and other Stories: An Undergraduate Guide for International Applicants to US

Ok, before we move further on this controversial topic, allow me to put a disclaimer here that what I am writing is merely a speculation like a conspiracy theory on the US government testing alien technology at Area 51.

Now that we cleared that hurdle allow me to state the myth so someone can send a letter to Mythbusters and ask them to verify it since it has a 5 stars popularity rating.

Myth 1- You would automatically get full ride upon admission

Myth 2- You stand a higher chance for admission seeing that your financial situation is not considered.

Myth 3-The term “international” is universal as defined by Merriam Webster dictionary.

Well, the first one is easy. No you don’t get full ride just like that. There are many methods of financial package calculation which are probably not revealed by any colleges. Then again, they could just throw any number they like at you and explain they painstakingly calculated so they won’t increase it substantially unless you can prove that some Ivy school offered you more and they badly need your oboe talents.

The thing is, most applicants are ranked. How else would they derive the ACCEPT, WAIT LIST and REJECT pool? The drama lies among accepted applicants of course. The best of the bunch (most likely heading to an Ivy) would definitely require the need-blind school to sweeten his offer like free plane tickets plus hotel family package to Honolulu every summer. The middle percentile will get ordinary offer no surprise here, and the bottom of the pile gets the scraps of the budget. You only get to worry about the dilemma of choosing which school to attend if you have the stats stated in the next paragraph. And yes the admission committee can smell out Ivy bound students like shark is able to detect a drop of blood from miles away. How? Remember that International Student Financial Aid Application (ISFAA) form you filled in with the section “What other schools are you applying to?”. Oh yes, a dead giveaway that makes a senior citizen stand up from his wheel chair and go “A-HAH!” Not implying that the admission committee are all that “wise” of course.

The second one is the big one. No you don’t have a higher chance, if anything, your chances are significantly lower in a need blind school unless you have perfect SATs (NOT superscored!), triple legacy, insane ECs (I’m talking about Olympiads, INTEL, world class classical violinist, triple varsity sports, breakthrough research works with some scientist at an exotic location like Galapagos etc.), lived in 10 cities around the world, Nobel Lit Prize essays, fawning teacher recommendations and your interviewer got so bulldozed over by your sex appeal that they’d write whatever if you promised them another date.

But, I digress. The reason is because, you will also be competing against the crem de la crem of the entire world gunning for American education. Once a college makes an announcement that is is becoming need-blind, it spreads like wildfire on tinder to the entire application population around the world who are looking for fresh blood. Yes, it means you will be competing in a pool with thousands of applicants with the stats of the previous paragraph -/+ underrepresented minority status.

A need-based school on the other hand who is too stingy to spend money on a PR agent or rather would like to keep their Hidden Ivy status…well…hidden, would definitely be unheard of since its need-blind peers are hogging the limelight. This means less competition. And if you need me to explain what less competition means, then you’d be better off not retaking that SAT scores of yours.

This will probably draw hellfire but need-blind status is somewhat a farce. Any school can declare a status of need-blind in my opinion seeing that there are no rules to govern how the selection process takes place or how aid is distributed for that matter. For example, 10 points if this guy is an Olympiad or 2 points if he has legacy status then they add up the points of all applicants and see who wins an admission. The move is not as drastic as it seems. Anyhow, the same number of students gets in so the change of policy can only mean better quality and quantity of applicants to fill the class with.

Why would they go that far? To steal potential Ivy bound students to improve student body and also to drastically drop their rate of admittance. For what reason? The numbers look good on the viewbook. No really, they send them to important people and get another extra billion in endowments for such a good work. And this translates to? The board of directors (or any other term) get a 2 year salary bonus and laughed their way to the bank. Probably not, but hey, business takes first class as education goes economy.

So, you’re probably googling international students’ financial aid package to check my story. While it may be true HYP, MIT and others do offer pretty good aid in general since money is not an issue to them. Keep in mind, colleges tend to give out misleading information to stay up the USNews-WR list. Why? Refer to reasons in previous paragraph. Also, international students can mean students with permanent residence or green card so they qualify for Federal Aid as well( I think). Plus, some internationals like Mexicans and Canadians are under need-blind whilst the rest of the world are under need-based policy. Then there are the “international” a.k.a. globe trotting Americans (yes, they hold a US passport) who’ve lived abroad all their lives who gets Federal Aid. So yeah, watch out for the word “average amount” and don’t bet your hedge funds on it. Besides, it has been claimed that colleges cheat at statistics which is the basis of some arguments against college rankings. To what extent is this true? I don’t know.

Basically, we can only know the shocking truth if the The Gatekeepers version 2.0 is coming out since all this admission thing is so top secret.

My Gift to You

“we were young, we were wild, we were restless
had to go, had to fly – had to get away
took a chance on that feelin’ – baby
we were lovin’ blind – borderline reckless
we were livin’ for the minute we were spinnin’ in
maybe we were a lot of things
but we weren’t crazy”

When I first heard that song by Josh Gracin, I realized how perfectly it mirrored my present state of mind. The words struck me so hard that it brought tears to my eyes – there is just one other song that had this effect. I just had to keep it on replay to remind myself how important being true to myself means. That it didn’t matter when it falls apart because I took a risk, and I will learn from it no matter the consequence.

Its that time of the year again. I never knew the exact date of course – just the advertisements popping up everywhere to herald the day of acknowledgments and ugly materialism. Whenever that day is, I could not care less.

I understand that you feel the need to hold me down, because that’s what you do. You try and pick me up and help get my act together again. It is this wisdom that I was so afraid of getting, the kind that turns me cold and keeps me grounded. I refused to be a part of it because I needed to be free and embrace the youthful fire that is idealism – even if it burns me.

I resent that you tried to force your philosophies on me, that you never cared about mine. I wish you could know me better. I resent that you felt disappointed because I know I am much better than this. I wish I could show you more. I thought you did not know me at all…

But you knew enough to say and do the right things. I tried to think of different parallels, but could not find any I would choose to be in. You were the perfect character to nurture me despite our natures being worlds apart. I was merely being difficult because I could. I hope you know I am worth this because I will turn out to be someone that will make you proud.

I hope to someday hear you say you are proud of me, just the way I am proud of you.

I won’t give you a rose because it will wither tomorrow, I won’t give you thanks because it is easily forgotten, I won’t give you love because you already have mine.

I have in mind something which you think I have too much of and something which I think you have too little of.

What I can hope to give you is a piece of my of my optimism, which time has yet to rid me of. You may call it naive but I hope someday you will look back at it and smile with joy.

Happy Mother’s Day Mum.

Almost Maybe Definitely

I received not one but two moderately positive emails today. I feel like I should be happy – but just not yet. That threshold where I leap to the skies and scream my lungs out has barely been reached. But, I do feel like I breathe easier now.

Wait, it is probably because I managed to restore equilibrium to my Circadian cycle… no, not there yet either, I need to maintain this for another 20 days just because some guy in white lab coats said something about the tremendous willpower needed to overcome habits stored in the basal ganglia.

I hope this labor day bodes well for the month of May.

Brittle Confidence

I thought I did write decently. It takes some assurance sometimes, but I am pretty sure it is not too bad. I am almost done sending those sincere letters brimming with hope today. I suppose much of it comes down to luck if you fall within the mid-range of this year’s cutthroat competitive pool. But then again, I know some people who are heads and shoulders above the rising tide but still suffer the malice of fate. Well, nothing much I could do but to hope that persuasion and emotions can travel through cables and air waves and still materialize wholly in front the screens of their computers. Nothing sums it up better than this excerpt of Niccolo Machiavelli’s letter to Lorenzo de Medici.

“I have been unable to find anything I possess that I hold so dear or esteem so highly as my knowledge of actions of great men, learned from long experience in modern affair and from constant reading of ancient ones. Having long examined and reflected upon these matters with great diligence and having now set them down in a small volume, I send it to Your Highness.”

Sign In

I hesitate to click that button nowadays. I would usually go about doing other things before reluctantly returning to that page. When I do finally click it, I wait with bated breath as the page loads – often finding myself turning away from the screen because I do not want to think of the infinite possibilities that click could bring. The odds are painfully stacked against me. It takes a strong character to hold back the insanity that is already breaching the floodgates.

Gapping

Vibe: Sufjan Stevens – Chicago

I recently had a conversation with a friend who made the same decision I did almost a year ago and sensed a hint of regret. At some point, it may seem to some people that they may not have extracted enough essential oil from this exotic flower that is gap year.

As I near its end, I felt that I had the opportunity to do things I would otherwise be unable to. Of course it may not be picturesque backpacking in some exotic location all the time – but there will, hopefully, be a chance for that soon.

I suppose the society in which I live in do give a slant glance students who chooses this path without much afterthought other than “What a bum!”. Most likely because the benefits are not as tangible as material wealth.

Shifting from one institution to another with such immediacy may not be suitable for every individual especially if a completely different set of culture and system is involved.

I felt that a reprieve from the world of academia was very much needed for me to grow. I have learnt so much beyond the four walls of a class from my observations and conversations with people in the places I have traveled.

In the past few months, I have so much time on my hand to breathe and just take notice of the world as it goes by. I have rapidly matured emotionally and mentally to the point where I felt a connection reading a thoughtful article written by a wise woman with ailing health. Somewhere along the way, I felt that I did go through that phase – that time simply slowed down and you feel infinitely lighter.

There are worries by many people that gapping may leave you behind as your peers are graduating a step quicker. Also the silly notion that you have lost a year’s worth of income. I can think of so many legitimate comebacks but they lay choked at my throat as they rushed out. I feel that at this point in life, there is no need to justify my decisions and that people are free to have their opinions. My self assurance ( not to be confused with arrogance) have grown so much that I remain insensitive to what others may think of me. I know for certain that I will come out of this year as a more matured individual matriculating than many others of comparative age graduating. I did not want to end up like indistinguishable China dolls that comes out the production line. Deceptively attractive but hollow – exactly like what employers are griping about.

I wanted to feel human.

I guess I am ambitiously seeking much more than just movie weekends and birthday parties as ingredients for that.

Reality Check

It feels I have been reading the success stories for far too long. The gushes, the jubilations, the dreams. It envelopes you, creating an armor of confidence as you readily picture yourself in their shoes and losing yourself in this alternate reality.

It seems almost shocking that past year’s bountiful harvest could translate to this year’s ravaging bush fire. I stand now lost on the sidewalks blaming myself for being led astray by false hope while foolishly ignoring cautionary signposts.

I recently chanced upon a heartbreaking story of an applicant who went 60 miles per hour too fast for his own good on the highway and it instantly dragged myself into a relapse of this year’s April Fool’s over the weekend. Its not even funny anymore when I am no longer numb.

I have always told myself, I cannot fathom my future beyond this date…and I still cannot. It really should not be so bad but I am languishing in my own suicidal concoction of anguish, despair, and pity.

As I pry the gripping fingers off my beating heart one by one, I know it is yet to be over – that I should be brave enough to continue doing what I have started a long time ago until I finish it.